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Reader Reviews

“The paths people choose on their road to recovery are unique. The weekend I read this book, my husband and I were hiking in very steep, rocky, difficult terrain. It occurred to me that Kira’s eloquent description of her healing journey sounded very much like my experience on the mountain. Losing and Finding My Father is real, honest, inspiring. It is a well-written account of one woman’s courageous journey to emotional and spiritual freedom.

—–“I highly recommend this book to therapists interested in learning to trust the inner wisdom of their clients. Also it will be a wonderful resource for anyone on a conscious road to recovery.”

—Toni Herbine-Blank


“As soon as you start reading page one, you can hear the intelligence and emotion in this author’s internal voice. This voice carries you through a daughter’s poignant journey of love and loss, forgiveness and redemption. Highly recommended.

—Robert Beatty


“As a family therapist, I thoroughly enjoyed reading Kira’s courageous and intimate sharing of her experiences of being a daughter and a woman seeking authenticity in her relationships. I found the book fascinating and inspiring, for its honesty and for its vulnerability. Seldom have I experienced in another such an openness to explore the motivations, thoughts and feelings within and of those we are close to—then to circle back to a place of love and compassion.

—–“Kira’s book inspires me to revisit my own ability to live consciously, respectfully and wholly—to circle back to compassion for myself and for those tormentors that are, as the saying goes, my mentors. I encourage others to read this brave account of Kira’s journey to living authentically.”

—Inga Markham


“As the author acknowledges in the introduction, no two people have the same journey to mental health; however, Kira’s intimate sharing of her experience could be an invaluable resource to anyone regardless of the path they choose or even the precise nature of their emotional challenges. Despite differences in temperament, trauma, and spirituality between us, I found much within these pages that offered me a greater perspective and understanding of my own life as well as others around me. I often had to pause in my reading to allow myself to cycle through potent feelings of anger, grief, exhaustion, and even jealousy.

—–“There are few things more desirable than to live consciously, to cease merely reacting to the world as it happens and instead deliberately respond in full knowledge of your motivations and feelings. While most people want to do this, possibly even believe that they do, the average person simply lacks the knowledge to get to a mental place where they can. Kira provides a powerful example through sharing her quest for conscious living along with a basic set of tools and resources for any seeking to do the same.

—–“I am a better person for having read this.”

—Michelle Ruedin


This story could have so been written from a “victim” perspective. But it’s not a grievance story at all. Every place where Kira could have complained about a challenge, she reveals blessings rather than burdens. And does so in a visceral, grounded way.



—–“So as a reader with a sometimes difficult relationship with my own deceased father, I found myself not only lovingly carried along in the flow of Kira’s journey, but also healed. I could see my father in a new way, with a more generous perspective…and that shift has been maintained, actually, a month after finishing Kira’s work.



—–“It helps, of course, that Kira’s a gifted writer. She connects words in a way that’s engaging, clear, and well-paced. Her story was a page-turner…I wanted to see what the next page would bring almost all the way through it. Except, of course, I didn’t quite want it to end, either!”

—Mark Hurwich


Losing and Finding My Father provides a thorough exploration of the multifaceted and nuanced relationship between Kira her father. Kira reminds us in her very personal reflections that the journey of healing allows us the possibility to heal the losses and traumas encountered early in our lives in addition to the losses from death.

—–“As a grief therapist and someone who has experienced personal loss recently, this book spoke deeply to the journey. Kira’s story offers a view of the emotional landscape we encounter in the months and years following the loss of a loved one.

—–“Kira courageously takes us to very painful and despairing periods in her life but ultimately offers the reader the blessings, hope and promise of healing and finding one’s self!”

 —Beth O’Neil


Kira Freed’s Losing and Finding My Father is a beautifully written gem of a book, especially for those seeking to work with ambivalent feelings toward a parent, particularly an abusive parent. It is a deep exploration of Kira’s reactions to her father’s life and death. I found Kira’s description of her path engaging, and I increasingly appreciated the complexity of her healing journey. Although Kira’s relationship with her father is central to her book, she also explores the impact of childhood trauma on her struggle to find meaningful adult relationships.

—–“Kira presents in detail the approaches she utilized on her path. In the appendix, she lists specific references for the multiple aspects of her healing, giving readers resources for their personal journeys.

—–“As I am a therapist, I am delighted to recommend Kira’s book as a resource for those with complex relationships with and feelings toward an abusive parent. I would hope readers could feel validated in their struggle to manage wide-ranging feelings toward that parent, a parent they may both long for and admire and at the same time detest or fear. I hold hope that others will be inspired that they, too, can find a meaningful, connected life.”

—Nancy Berkowitz

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